Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize