dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
