yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I FOUND THE LEGS
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
