I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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