i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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