My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
