The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
