Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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