the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
