so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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