hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
