Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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