Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
