So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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