Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
How external is "for external use only"?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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