he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
