Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
