he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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