can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
