is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize