Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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