Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
