So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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