i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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