let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
