I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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