She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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