I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
