can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
