Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
