eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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