i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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