who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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