I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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