I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
