Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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