no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
