Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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