You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
MIDGETS
????
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
