Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
