garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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