He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
