love makes seman taste better
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
