Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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