I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
