Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
