All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
