wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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