Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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