drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize