im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
