And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
