I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
