i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
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Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
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Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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