new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
