i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
