Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
