Duck Duck Cougar?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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