Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
