Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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