i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
