I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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