OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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