well you can't waste a boner
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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