Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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