it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
