laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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